Relationships Matter
Why do they matter so much?
We are designed to be in community, designed to need one another, it's central to who we are as human beings. It’s part of our very nature that we should live in relationship with others. We’re not just talking romantic relationships here, that is only part of the story!
Some social scientists have described the human brain as the ‘social organ’. Studies have shown that the factor which separated the happiest 10% of people from the rest of their study group was the effectiveness of their social relationships1.
One reason for this is due to the way our bodies work: “when we make positive social connections, our body releases Oxytocin - a pleasure inducing chemical - into our bloodstream. Oxytocin is sometimes referred to as “the love drug”, as it plays a role in bonding… Oxytocin also reduces our anxiety, improves our concentration and focus, and helps to regulate our cardiovascular system”2
Relationships can also help us through different periods of our lives. Actually when life throws a curveball, when things are bringing us down, it is our relationships which help us weather these storms.
We must remember that we are made in the image of God and that God lives in community, one which is founded on eternal love and concern for each other. We are therefore also designed, by God to be in loving, caring relationships. We will only be truly fulfilled and healthy when we are able to develop healthy relationships with other people.
The difficulty that we will face as human beings is creating these healthy and ongoing relationships which mutually feed, encourage, equip and care for one another. This is especially true as we come out of a two year period where, here in the UK at least, we have had numerous lockdowns and curbs on how we can spend time with one another.
Two major issues as we seek to bring relational wellbeing to our lives are:
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Do we have the right kind of relational connections in our lives? Are we putting energy into developing and maintaining these sorts of connections?
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Do we have peace in our existing relationships? Do the relationships we have at the moment bring us peace or are they a constant cause of friction in our lives? Peace in our relationships will increase our overall sense of wellbeing.
There is so much we can say in this area of wellbeing. Graham found as he was speaking that it was hard to share all the things he had prepared due to time constraints.
If this is an area where you feel you are vulnerable in, why not have a look at the chapters relating to Relational Wellbeing in Dave Smith’s book (more details below)?
Watch
Listen
Watch the full series here:
Listen to the Full Series here:
More episodes will be added as we progress through the series. You can watch and listen to other series and talks by visiting our media page: jubilee.org.uk/media
Why not read the book which helped us shape this series?
“God’s Plan for your Wellbeing” by Dave Smith - This book will help you delve deeper into this subject.
From the back cover:
The UK’s #1 concern, from Cabinet to classroom, is wellbeing.
Dave Smith, writing from personal experience, leads us on a 50-day adventure to improve our physical, emotional, spiritual, relational, financial and vocational health. This book is a simple and easily accessible guide for individuals and groups to take next steps towards greater wellbeing. Informative and practical, bit upon biblical principles, this guide acts as a personal Satnam in a journey towards greater resilience and a richer quality of life. We discover that God really does have a plan for our overall health and sets us on a course for a lifetime of ever-increasing wellbeing!
Recommendations:
Dave Smith is one of the most gifted Christian leaders in the UK today and I am delighted that he has produced this exciting new book to help all of us grow in wellbeing. Nicky Gumbel, Vicar of HTB and pioneer of Alpha
Dave offers bite-sized daily meditations and practical next-steps suggestions to help us on our journey of increasing wellbeing. As someone who has been through my own struggles with wellbeing, I can’t recommend this timely book enough. Simon Thomas, TV presenter, author and podcaster
Who is Dr Dave Smith?
Dave became a Christian while studying at Oxford University, where he went on to complete a doctorate in church history. He and his wife, Karen, moved to Peterborough in 1988 to start KingsGate Community church - now a large, multicultural, intergenerational, multisite church. Dave has a heart to see a revival of healthy believers and churches who in turn impact their neighbourhoods and the nations! He loves walking and is a avid Manchester City fan!
You can buy a copy here
(1) E. Diener and M. Seligman, 'Very Happy People', Psychological Science (2002), cited in Luke McKenna, Making Wellbeing Practical, p75
(2) Luke McKenna, Making Wellbeing Practical, pp75-76